When we meet someone face to face a huge proportion of what we ‘say’ is not in the words we use but in the way we say things and the way we use our bodies to express ourselves. Sitting with arms and legs crossed, in a way that points away from the person you’re speaking to can convey a lot about you and your interest in them or the conversation. If could suggest you are nervous, uninterested, bored, or anxious – none of which are very positive emotions to convey to a potential date.
When chatting online you don’t have the added complications, or benefits, of using body language to assess how what you are saying is being interpreted. Things written in an e-mail or instant message can often be read in a completely different way to the message that was intended, so be careful to make it clear when you are being light-hearted about something or very enthusiastic. Writing in capital letters is often seen as shouting, so only do this if you are shouting for joy at something, or are very enthusiastic about an idea, but be careful not to overuse this option. There are many ways you can ensure you place the emphasis on the right part of a sentence, e.g. typing in bold print or italics to give more meaning to your statements.
When you actually get to meet someone for real be aware of what you’re body language says about you and remember that open gestures, leaning in slightly to listen and listening attentively to your date are all positive ways to show your interest. You can use these tips to gauge the reaction of your date to what you’re saying, but remember that some gestures such as crossed arms could just be a reflection on being cold, or anxious, not necessarily disinterest. Use your own judgement and listen to your gut instincts to make the most of the cues you can see to make your date feel at ease when talking to you, whether that’s online or face-to-face. |
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